This morning, we were confronted with a washing machine that agitates us isntead of the clothes. I suppose after 8 years of faithful servitude, it decided to go on strike as if the electricity, water and detergent we were regularly feeding it were no longer adequate compensation for dealing with a few loads of laundry each week. Thus we are faced with the eternal dilemma: repair or replace.

If we do end up replacing, I would like very much to invest in a front-loader because it is cheaper to operate and easier on the clothing. (I do realize that the top-loaders do have a place in society. There are some of the female persuasion who actually want the washer to wear out their clothing so they can go to the mall and purchase more. Fortunately for me, my lovely Queen (May She Live Forever) is not one of these.)

While researching, I bumped into this curious invention:

A Spanish designer has come up with what could be the perfect solution for the woman who feels frustrated that she has to do all the house chores.

It is a washing machine called "Your Turn", which will not let the same person use it twice in a row.

It uses fingerprint recognition technology to ensure the job of loading is not dumped on just one individual.

This is a perfect example of a unique concept and brilliant implementation of a completely worthless idea. It is far too easy to visualize the real-world use of this equal-opportunity washing machine...

George is sitting on his couch watching Monday Night Football. Samantha, with a bandana around her head to keep her hair out of her eyes as she washes the dishes, cleans the bathroom and does laundry simultaneously, pokes her head into the living room and announces, "George, I've loaded the washing machine and I need you to start it."

George issues a grunt which seems agreeable and Samantha leaves the room. Thirty minutes later, the laundry is still sitting silently in the washer and Samantha asks George for assistance once more with rougly the same result. She continues her labor as George continues his own.

In the fourth quarter, the visiting team is trailing by 4 but has driven to their opponent's 14 yard-line. Samantha has finished her work and checks the washer. It stands quietly, awaiting the master's touch. She presses the button herself, willing the machine to start but it refuses, knowing that she started the last load. Exasparated, Samantha enters the kitchen, grabs the cleaver and a cutting board and storms violently into the den. Stealth would have served her better as George, anticipating such a move, leaps from the couch, feints left, dodges right and flees down the hall.

As he passes by the laundry room, he reaches in and presses the button on top of the washer. He continues his escape into the master bathroom and locks the door. Once seated, he turns and removes the cover from the tank and removes a small radio sealed in a bag. He turns on the device and listens to the end of the game on AM.

Instead of saving marriages, such a device has the potential to destroy them - or at minimum spark the purchase and regular use of chain-mail gloves. Besides, if you want your husband to do laundry, you do not need to buy a special washer to encourage him to help out. Simply stop washing his clothes. Or cooking food. Be creative - not every method will work with every man but I'm sure you can find a suitable approach. Or you could just do the laundry for him because of how kind/handsome/sexy/hardworking I am he is.