NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

PAINTING, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.

PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance.

PHILANTHROPIST, n. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

ROAD, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.