The lovely Queen (May She Live Forever) and I are now administering the children's ministry at our church. As we were gathering supplies for last week's classes, we discovered a new product by Crayola which I had never seen before:

I fondly remember coloring in my early years. My favorite color was always brick red, although I have no idea why. (Possibly because it was one of the few cool colors that came in the 24 pack, which is all my family could ever afford. My choice might have been different if the assortment of 64 had fit within the school supply budget of a school teacher's salary.)

Back in those days of old, coloring skin usually involved peach, brown or indian red. I suppose creative moods would occasionally allow less conventional choices but for the most part it was those three. No one ever used the white crayon. I'm convinced that it was only there to create invisible patterns on Easter eggs prior to dying them.

But now, the children of America, armed with a pack of Multicultural Crayons, can color flesh with confidence. Race, ethnicity, even exposure to the sun is no longer an obstacle, although the omission of sunburn could be taken as a slight by those of us who are more sensitive to ultraviolet rays.

I'm sure you are as curious as I was regarding which colors reside within this politically correct box. Your wish is my command:

Disappointing? Slightly. All of these are ordinary colors which were available to me in the early 70s. Granted, they couldn't just come out with specific (and offensive) colors like caucasian, Oglala Sioux, east Kenyan or mulatto. But the biggest disappointment is the inclusion of the useless stick of wax they call white. Perhaps albino would be a better name for this color.

Oh and FYI, good old indian red is no more. The name was changed in 1999:

In response to educators' requests, “Indian red” is renamed “chestnut.” Contrary to popular belief, the original name of this color was not meant to represent the skin color of Native Americans. Instead, the name referred to a reddish pigment from India that was often used in oil paints.

Of course, this is only the 8-pack. There is also a 16-pack which adds olive green, raw sienna, cerulean, silver, goldenrod, salmon, burnt orange and periwinkle.

I wish I had this set instead. The salmon could very well double for sunburn. Plus the complete package does not discriminate against Tin Men (silver), the Blue Man Group (cerulean) or those who are no longer breathing (periwinkle).