August 25, 2005
I usually watch very little TV, however the situation is much different on the road. After working all day and returning to my hotel room completely mind-burnt, there is little else to do but scroll through channel after channel looking for something interesting to watch. I have not been successful yet, but at least I have learned some things about firearms I had never realized before.
What Television Has Taught Me about Handguns
- Guns are difficult to hold on to
It is impossible to retain possession of a weapon when you are bumped, pushed, nudged or if you fall any distance. In addition, a person's grip on the weapon they are holding is weakest at the exact point they are trying to pull the trigger. - Guns are not subject to the laws of physics
Neither friction or conservation of energy seem to apply to a dropped gun. It immediately moves out of reach of the original holder when dropped regardless of the impact surface, angle of impact or impact velocity. - Bullets make moral judgements
The stopping power of a bullet is not a function of its caliber or composition but rather the motive of the target. Any bullet from any gun can immediately incapacitate a bad guy; however those of a friendlier disposition can take multiple bullets from very large gun with little or no adverse effect. - Bullet wounds are temporary
It is possible to completely recover from a knockdown shot and the recovery time for bad guys is reduced, perhaps to compensate for the prior item. For some strange reason, the good guys never anticipate the inevitable revival of their enemies. It is also a given that a revived villian always has a previously undisclosed weapon somewhere on his person for just such a purpose. - The accuracy of female shooters
Although it defies logic, the accuracy of a female shot is directly proporitional to two key factors: How scantily clad their personage is and how shakey their grip is as they attempt to aim.
