eJack is our own humble attempt to pair the Jack of the Obvious with a suitable [ a.) chick, b.) babe, c.) darling, d.) girl that does his laundry ]. We combine precise multiple-choice matching technology with my own extensive experience and success in finding a Queen, er, mate.

Surprisingly, a good match is more science than art. With two engineering degrees between us, that bodes well for the Jack. Research has shown that the compatibility of romantic partners can be measured. However, being that the romantic era is long past, we have opted for a more direct approach: a simple 14 question quiz which should successfully rule you out as a potential date for Mr. Obvious.

There are no fees at eJack and there are also no guarantees. However, we encourage you to participate by answering each question in the comments section. Think carefully about your answer to each question. Remember, there is always an infinitesimally small chance that you might randomly meet the Jack in person at some point in your life. The experience you glean from this Personality Profile may prove helpful, or even lifesaving, should that occur.

Now, on to the quiz, er, the scientific, 14-Point Personality Profile:

1. Do you make your decisions based on:
   1. Careful thinking
   2. Emotional Outbursts
   3. Prayer
   4. A turing machine


2. What is the answer?
   1. A life lived for someone
   2. A life devoted to service
   3. Getting a lot of money
   4. 42


3. If you were a spice, what would it be and why?
   1. Sugar - I'm sweet
   2. Chili Power - I'm hot
   3. Oregeno - My friends mistake me for drugs
   4. I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that answering any of the above answers will completely disqualify me for consideration by Jack


4. The man who earns my love is a man who:
   1. Is willing to help out with the dishes
   2. Knows what the inside of a potholder feels like
   3. Knows which wine to serve with chicken
   4. Can properly identify the name and purpose of the 5 primary forks
   5. Knows the current price of paper plates and cups at Sam's Club


5. The most important aspect of any dating relationship is:
   1. Communication
   2. Making out
   3. Laughing
   4. Talking about committment until i'm freaking blue in the face


6. The way I usually attract guys is:
   1. My charming personality
   2. Persistance
   3. Show lots of cleavage and repeatedly drop things on the floor
   4. Just be myself, dang it! He's supposed to make the first move anyway


7. The role of my male shopping companion:
   1. Porter - Carries bags from store to store
   2. Advisor - Grants fashion advice on the latest styles
   3. Esteem Builder - In charge of debunking the question "Does this make me look fat?"
   4. Treasurer - Defender of the budget and pointer outer of clearance racks
   5. Silent Partner - Your personal assistant in absentia (home watching TV)


8. When I date someone, I show them my affection by:
   1. Giving them hugs
   2. Giving them candy
   3. Winking
   4. MOVING TO ALASKA


9. I would like my boyfriend's conversation to be:
   1. Witty
   2. Romantic
   3. Thoughtful
   4. Interspersed with Perl code


10. I would like a man who is
    1. Strong and a good leader
    2. Good with kids
    3. Funny
    4. Knows the ascii table by heart?
    5. A useless pathetic indecisive coward who resorts to the internet to get dates


11. If I were to describe myself as a regular expression it would be:
    1. s/love/wuvvy-duvvy/
    2. /^Me/
    3. /!commitment/
    4. What is a regular expression?


12. How I watch sports:
    1. I don't care, I just watch to be close to my guy
    2. I wear my old cheerleader outfit and perform during the commercials
    3. "Why do people do that to each other? Can't we all just get along?"
    4. The team logo is tatooed on my body (specific location is not relevant)
    5. YEAH! 5th down and 19, go Marlins!


13. How I greet my husband at the end of his workday:
    1. A warm dinner and a fresh newspaper
    2. A sermon on the 17 things that went wrong today
    3. A warm lap and a fresh kiss
    4. An occasional wardrobe malfunction
    5. Two words: Saran Wrap


14. (The kicker) My blog identity is:
    1. Yale Diva
    2. Not Yale Diva

If this works half as well as predicticted, the King of Fools dating service may not be far behind. Imagine harnessing the power of the sarcastic wit of two software engineers to your dating life. Can't you see the possibilities...